“For the pre-celebrity who salivates for fame and doesn’t particularly want to work all that hard for it, the best and surest option is to take matters into her own hands right from the start and have sex with a dimwitted sports or singing star whose head is so far up his own ass he can’t even tell when there’s a camera rolling in a hotel room. Full frontal nudity is acceptable, but an on-camera sex act will only work to her benefit if performed discreetly and in a ladylike manner. She’s hoping for a Chanel contract someday, and that’s never going to happen if the public’s first image of her involves visible stickiness.”
“Stars are made, of course. They’re made out of attention and compromise, not to mention an overwhelming need to be loved while keeping the world at arm’s length. They’re made in a vat known as the entertainment industry complex, with swirling, bubbling ingredients like mind-gnawing ambition, selective amnesia, and just a pinch of personality disorder. Then they’re stamped out in cookie-cutter shapes with the rough edges smoothed off, ready for public consumption; eager for it, in fact. A row of happy, smiling products on a shelf, like cereal boxes with dreams.”
“[Celebrities’] lives are based on a double-barreled combination of conformity and illusion, and their value is wrapped up in their looks and how young they can plausibly appear to be. These are not role models, these are cautionary tales.
Even worse, celebrities write countless books and give endless interviews telling people their philosophies of life and somehow they’ve not yet managed to improve humankind in any measurable way, except for a brief period in the eighties when everybody took up aerobics, but there was a lot of spandex involved so it was kind of a trade-off.
We don’t believe anyone should look to us for advice any more than you should look to celebrities, but if you must look up to them, then at least look up to them for their self-confidence, and the ways in which they use it to craft a seemingly invulnerable persona and then force the world around them to accept it. We could all use a little more of that in our lives and a little less fretting over our hips or whether our clothes are cool enough.”